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I was hungover and reading a Game of Throne s recap on my phone in a restaurant when NudeHouseCleaners. I was flabbergasted. I totally forgot," I sputtered, unsure of what the protocol for this sort of situation was. Unless you count putting someone else's gin and gingers on my tab until they are tipsy enough to wonder what my boobs are shaped like, I have never paid for someone to get naked in my house. And of all the unorthodox things you might have considered doing naked - playing RISK, cooking a salmon fillet or talking to your career advisor on the phone, for instance - cleaning is probably not one, if only due to the simple hazard of Mrs. Meyers products going anywhere near your genitals. On the other hand, thanks to the Internet, you can hire someone to Brillo the rust off your stove in the nude quicker than you can get a two sushi-roll-and-Sapporo special brought to your door on Seamless Web.

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Unless you count putting someone else's gin and gingers on my tab until they are tipsy enough to wonder what my boobs are shaped like, I have never paid for someone to get naked in my house. And of all the unorthodox things you might have considered doing naked - playing RISK, cooking a salmon fillet or talking to your career advisor on the phone, for instance - cleaning is probably not one, if only due to the simple hazard of Mrs.

Meyers products going anywhere near your genitals. On the other hand, thanks to the Internet, you can hire someone to Brillo the rust off your stove in the nude quicker than you can get a two sushi-roll-and-Sapporo special brought to your door on Seamless Web. Some girls are "cute messy.

Just warning you, it's messy! Jason is about 5'7", black, and handsome, with a wrestler's build, toting one of those drawstring nylon gym bags the popular guys in high school used to use as bookbags. He isn't as taken aback as most men are when he sees The State Of Things.

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Mostly gay men, he confesses, some of whom masturbate while he cleans. When Jason is not leaning against my desk taking his shirt off and answering awkward questions, he is a law student doing this to pay tuition.

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He begins to slip his boxers down and I instinctively avert my eyes, ultimately breaking my pledge to Just Be Cool and blurting out: "Sorry-can-you-maybe-keep-your-underwear-on? He piles them.

Even watching him do this is uncomfortable. The few times I have hired a fully-clothed cleaning lady to come to my apartment, I have fled the premises as quickly as possible in order to not feel like Lucille Bluth.

He steps away from the books. Within the next five minutes, his pants and shoes are back on, because he is a gentleman. This strikes me as weirdly sad.

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I stare forlornly at a point in the distance for a second until I realize it looks like I'm staring at Jason's bulge. Later, on two-wine-glasses auto-flirt with a friend of a friend at a party, I tell the guy the Tale of Jason.

The friend of a friend nodded and we just stood there, having run out of things to say, until we both started talking to other people. I rest my case.

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